Sometimes I am so blown away by the Spirit of YHVH. I was doing some studying the last few days on His name and issues concerning Torah and oral Torah, Rabbis and Kararites, and then had a wonderful discussion with the children about all of it. The discussion started over breakfast while we talked about the possibility that the earth was created billions of years ago when a huge asteroid of some kind hit the pre-earth that was twice the size it is now, and started it spinning, and therefore made gravity.
This is an idea that was told to them by someone of no faith in Yah, so of course they ask my opinion on these things and I had a couple of questions for them. First, if earth was just a huge mass free floating in the atmosphere that was hit by some other mass, then how did our planet have the exact right amount of oxygen vs carbon dioxide to sustain all the life that we support on this earth? And second, how did we end up on the perfect orbit from the sun, not to close as to burn up, and not so far as to freeze to death? How did it all end up so perfectly in place, there is only one answer for me, and that is that a loving and all knowing Elohim put it all into play, so that we could live this life.
It is really hard for me not to tell them what I believe and to allow them to form their own ideas and beliefs but to my amazement they always come out on the side of YHVH. I remain in total amazement daily at the depth and scope of their faith, and how Yah has truly written his instruction on their hearts, and at the ability he gives me to train them in the way they need to go. I am only able to this because I truly feel that He uses me as a mouth piece so to speak, to tell them what he wants them to hear. For instance about noon or so the children and I were hanging out in my room talking about Torah, and the difference between Rabbinical Judaism and Karaite Judaism, and how we as a family fall more on the side of the Kariates as we have no use for the extra rules and regulations and traditions that have been put into place in rabbinical Judaism, and we feel that sticking to Torah is the best way to go. If it isn't given in Torah we will always question any doctorin or teaching from any religious group.
You see I was explaining Torah to them by drawing a box on a piece of paper and saying you see this is Torah, as long as we stay in this boundary we will be safe, Yah gave us this boundary to keep us healthy and in his grace, through the instructions about food, marriage, treatment of others and the worship of other god's, just to name a few. And when we stray outside the boundaries of Torah bad things start to befall us, when we take our lives and our choices and decide to do things without checking it by Torah we will not make the right choices, since by nature man is a sinful being that will lust after his own heart, not to mention the influence the Adversary has on all of our lives. You see it is his goal to pull as many of us from our Father as he can, he wants to hurt our Father and us, he makes all things that are sin feel really good for a brief moment, only to have the consequences not feel good. Like drinking until you are drunk, it feels really good to be drunk, to have all you inhibitions lowered and to feel free, only to wake up in the morning sick with a pounding headache if you are lucky, or even worse to wake up in jail because you drove drunk, or wake up next to a total stranger, not having the slightest idea of what transpired the night before. That feeling of dark aloneness we feel after we sin is what we get to look forward too all day every day that we are outside Torah, and imagine if we have to spend eternity in that state, no thank you.
This is where the talk really took off, as I was hanging with the kids it came to me, and I'm positive that the Yah was speaking to them through me, and filled my mouth with the right words. I asked my son Camren to come closer to me and I held him in my arms, I asked him how that felt, he said he felt warm and loved. And I said that Torah is YHVH's arms, that when you are inside Torah living and breathing it you are inside YHVH's embrace, where you are warm and safe and loved, that no matter where you are on the wonderful earth He created, as long as you have Torah in your heart then you will be in His arms. Well, we were all struck by the power of that analogy, and sat in silence for almost a full minute as it all sunk in.
Then I continued by saying that like mom's arms when we screw up that He offers correction, and then wraps His arms around us again, that He is always training us, even as adults, just like I train them as children, because he is our Father and we belong to him. Basically I have realized that before I truly gave myself and my love and my life over to YHVH's capable arms, that I was totally out of control, my life was full of darkness and misery. I was on all sorts of medication to fix my moods, and I was truly unhappy most of the time, unless I was medicating with some drug, be it cigarettes, or drinking, or even drugs. Even food, at times lulled me into oblivion so that I didn't have to feel the pain in my soul, and since I gave my soul to my Father, I have not had a panic attack, or a depressive state, that when I am in His arms, I am safe and loved, and I can truly feel love and give it, without reservations or strings attached. That even when I am having hard times, He holds me up, and keeps me going, and that I am truly happy even in hard times. I have faith that no matter what, He will take care of me and make it all ok, no matter what.
Thank you Abba for loving me and taking care of me, Ah'men.
