Sometimes I am so blown away by the Spirit of YHVH. I was doing some studying the last few days on His name and issues concerning Torah and oral Torah, Rabbis and Kararites, and then had a wonderful discussion with the children about all of it. The discussion started over breakfast while we talked about the possibility that the earth was created billions of years ago when a huge asteroid of some kind hit the pre-earth that was twice the size it is now, and started it spinning, and therefore made gravity.
This is an idea that was told to them by someone of no faith in Yah, so of course they ask my opinion on these things and I had a couple of questions for them. First, if earth was just a huge mass free floating in the atmosphere that was hit by some other mass, then how did our planet have the exact right amount of oxygen vs carbon dioxide to sustain all the life that we support on this earth? And second, how did we end up on the perfect orbit from the sun, not to close as to burn up, and not so far as to freeze to death? How did it all end up so perfectly in place, there is only one answer for me, and that is that a loving and all knowing Elohim put it all into play, so that we could live this life.
It is really hard for me not to tell them what I believe and to allow them to form their own ideas and beliefs but to my amazement they always come out on the side of YHVH. I remain in total amazement daily at the depth and scope of their faith, and how Yah has truly written his instruction on their hearts, and at the ability he gives me to train them in the way they need to go. I am only able to this because I truly feel that He uses me as a mouth piece so to speak, to tell them what he wants them to hear. For instance about noon or so the children and I were hanging out in my room talking about Torah, and the difference between Rabbinical Judaism and Karaite Judaism, and how we as a family fall more on the side of the Kariates as we have no use for the extra rules and regulations and traditions that have been put into place in rabbinical Judaism, and we feel that sticking to Torah is the best way to go. If it isn't given in Torah we will always question any doctorin or teaching from any religious group.
You see I was explaining Torah to them by drawing a box on a piece of paper and saying you see this is Torah, as long as we stay in this boundary we will be safe, Yah gave us this boundary to keep us healthy and in his grace, through the instructions about food, marriage, treatment of others and the worship of other god's, just to name a few. And when we stray outside the boundaries of Torah bad things start to befall us, when we take our lives and our choices and decide to do things without checking it by Torah we will not make the right choices, since by nature man is a sinful being that will lust after his own heart, not to mention the influence the Adversary has on all of our lives. You see it is his goal to pull as many of us from our Father as he can, he wants to hurt our Father and us, he makes all things that are sin feel really good for a brief moment, only to have the consequences not feel good. Like drinking until you are drunk, it feels really good to be drunk, to have all you inhibitions lowered and to feel free, only to wake up in the morning sick with a pounding headache if you are lucky, or even worse to wake up in jail because you drove drunk, or wake up next to a total stranger, not having the slightest idea of what transpired the night before. That feeling of dark aloneness we feel after we sin is what we get to look forward too all day every day that we are outside Torah, and imagine if we have to spend eternity in that state, no thank you.
This is where the talk really took off, as I was hanging with the kids it came to me, and I'm positive that the Yah was speaking to them through me, and filled my mouth with the right words. I asked my son Camren to come closer to me and I held him in my arms, I asked him how that felt, he said he felt warm and loved. And I said that Torah is YHVH's arms, that when you are inside Torah living and breathing it you are inside YHVH's embrace, where you are warm and safe and loved, that no matter where you are on the wonderful earth He created, as long as you have Torah in your heart then you will be in His arms. Well, we were all struck by the power of that analogy, and sat in silence for almost a full minute as it all sunk in.
Then I continued by saying that like mom's arms when we screw up that He offers correction, and then wraps His arms around us again, that He is always training us, even as adults, just like I train them as children, because he is our Father and we belong to him. Basically I have realized that before I truly gave myself and my love and my life over to YHVH's capable arms, that I was totally out of control, my life was full of darkness and misery. I was on all sorts of medication to fix my moods, and I was truly unhappy most of the time, unless I was medicating with some drug, be it cigarettes, or drinking, or even drugs. Even food, at times lulled me into oblivion so that I didn't have to feel the pain in my soul, and since I gave my soul to my Father, I have not had a panic attack, or a depressive state, that when I am in His arms, I am safe and loved, and I can truly feel love and give it, without reservations or strings attached. That even when I am having hard times, He holds me up, and keeps me going, and that I am truly happy even in hard times. I have faith that no matter what, He will take care of me and make it all ok, no matter what.
Thank you Abba for loving me and taking care of me, Ah'men.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Thursday, September 04, 2008
The state of our society.
I found a few minutes this afternoon sitting in my rocking chair humming a teething baby to sleep, to watch Judge Judy. And I was hit with this massive nausea over the state of relationships now a days. We have people suing people over bills and furniture , cell phone bills, slander and a host of other petty issues caused by men and women moving in together with out the benefit of marriage. Or roommates who cant stand each other and leave the other one hanging with the rent and bills and so forth.
For as much as we all think we have grown and changed, with our modern world, living alone or with strangers, dating many many people, not 'settling', and playing the field. I believe we are way worse off then ever before. What is it that we were running from in the first place. Was it the security and stability of life long marriage? Was it the health and safety of a monogamist relationship? Was it the love and structure that living at home with your family until marriage afforded? The most important question is are we crazy? What in the world is wrong with us?
You see I have a few friends and family members who are currently dealing with some of these issues, having lived with someone who was not their spouse and now living in a tiny apartment struggling to make the ends meet, after being practically robbed by the 'significant other' when it all went to hell in a hand basket. What was the point? Are they going to end up on Judge Judy fighting it our over $100 dollars and a game system.
"He has a bag of my clothes!" She whines,
"Well she ruined my computer!" He snarled, to elicit a snort and an eye roll form Judge Judy.
God forbid.
I would like to call out to everyone to go back in time, back to when people got married for the rest of their lives, had kids and raised them with morals and values. Made sure that they had a strong foundation based on religious principals, a biblical beginning if you will. Like teaching our children that lying is a sin, and that your virginity is special and something that should not be given lightly. What would our world look like if our children were taught what a good work ethic looked like, and understood that consequences follow actions, either good or bad. Children that have had discipline (OMG yes I am talking about spanking) and respect their elders, and love their neighbor........
Look at the people we want to emulate in the press. We gobble up magazines full of slutty looking women who jump from man to man and have children with many different people. Or the men who trade their wives in for a younger model. If we didn't buy these rags (or watch the television shows) then maybe they would put people on the cover who had some values and morals that our children could really look up too.
What influence are we being on our kids? How do we dress, how long do we keep a job? What kind of books and magazines do we read, what kind of programs do we watch on the TV and at the theater? These are all questions we need to be asking ourselves. One that I have struggled with is the music I listen to. My husband has a weakness for rock music, and honestly some of the lyrics are completely inappropriate, even some of the country music I listen too is not suitable for children to listen to, and I have in the past excused it by saying, "They aren't even listening, they're busy playing." Yeah right, only later to have them humming the beat and singing the lyrics. Oops
Shouldn't our kids be our first priority? Why are we ok with strangers raising our children? Now I understand that some mothers due to divorce and or death of a spouse have no choice but to get a job to take care of their children. But what kind of family's do we have that we will turn the raising of our children over to a daycare and public school, for what I ask? So that we can have better cars, or a bigger house, God forbid we don't get to take a vacation every year. What happened to the dad's who found a second job if needed to make ends meet. I stay home and take care of my children, I take full responsibility for their care, discipline, and education. And let me tell you it can be the hardest job there is. My husband on the other hand works and makes sure that we have enough money to pay the bills. Sometimes it is really hard and at other times it is easier. And when we need it he has gone and gotten a second job, because having his children raised by their mother is his #1 priority. He works in manual labor and does not have any kind college degree to 'fall back on', but we make it and I know that there are more family's that could make it if they only gave it a try.
We are responsible for them, and when they grow up, are we going to be proud of the job we've done? I hope that I will do a good job and that I will raise a bunch of awesome, respectful, healthy kids. When did being a mother become something that was less than having a career. And if a career is something that you want maybe waiting until the children are grown might be a good idea.
Isn't raising our children and parenting supposed to be the most important job there is.
For as much as we all think we have grown and changed, with our modern world, living alone or with strangers, dating many many people, not 'settling', and playing the field. I believe we are way worse off then ever before. What is it that we were running from in the first place. Was it the security and stability of life long marriage? Was it the health and safety of a monogamist relationship? Was it the love and structure that living at home with your family until marriage afforded? The most important question is are we crazy? What in the world is wrong with us?
You see I have a few friends and family members who are currently dealing with some of these issues, having lived with someone who was not their spouse and now living in a tiny apartment struggling to make the ends meet, after being practically robbed by the 'significant other' when it all went to hell in a hand basket. What was the point? Are they going to end up on Judge Judy fighting it our over $100 dollars and a game system.
"He has a bag of my clothes!" She whines,
"Well she ruined my computer!" He snarled, to elicit a snort and an eye roll form Judge Judy.
God forbid.
I would like to call out to everyone to go back in time, back to when people got married for the rest of their lives, had kids and raised them with morals and values. Made sure that they had a strong foundation based on religious principals, a biblical beginning if you will. Like teaching our children that lying is a sin, and that your virginity is special and something that should not be given lightly. What would our world look like if our children were taught what a good work ethic looked like, and understood that consequences follow actions, either good or bad. Children that have had discipline (OMG yes I am talking about spanking) and respect their elders, and love their neighbor........
Look at the people we want to emulate in the press. We gobble up magazines full of slutty looking women who jump from man to man and have children with many different people. Or the men who trade their wives in for a younger model. If we didn't buy these rags (or watch the television shows) then maybe they would put people on the cover who had some values and morals that our children could really look up too.
What influence are we being on our kids? How do we dress, how long do we keep a job? What kind of books and magazines do we read, what kind of programs do we watch on the TV and at the theater? These are all questions we need to be asking ourselves. One that I have struggled with is the music I listen to. My husband has a weakness for rock music, and honestly some of the lyrics are completely inappropriate, even some of the country music I listen too is not suitable for children to listen to, and I have in the past excused it by saying, "They aren't even listening, they're busy playing." Yeah right, only later to have them humming the beat and singing the lyrics. Oops
Shouldn't our kids be our first priority? Why are we ok with strangers raising our children? Now I understand that some mothers due to divorce and or death of a spouse have no choice but to get a job to take care of their children. But what kind of family's do we have that we will turn the raising of our children over to a daycare and public school, for what I ask? So that we can have better cars, or a bigger house, God forbid we don't get to take a vacation every year. What happened to the dad's who found a second job if needed to make ends meet. I stay home and take care of my children, I take full responsibility for their care, discipline, and education. And let me tell you it can be the hardest job there is. My husband on the other hand works and makes sure that we have enough money to pay the bills. Sometimes it is really hard and at other times it is easier. And when we need it he has gone and gotten a second job, because having his children raised by their mother is his #1 priority. He works in manual labor and does not have any kind college degree to 'fall back on', but we make it and I know that there are more family's that could make it if they only gave it a try.
We are responsible for them, and when they grow up, are we going to be proud of the job we've done? I hope that I will do a good job and that I will raise a bunch of awesome, respectful, healthy kids. When did being a mother become something that was less than having a career. And if a career is something that you want maybe waiting until the children are grown might be a good idea.
Isn't raising our children and parenting supposed to be the most important job there is.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
My little girl.
I just wanted to take a few minutes and document Abigail sweet existence. She is the first baby that I have given birth to all by myself, no doctors or nurses, no stir-ups... just me a pool and then there was a baby. The most sweet beautiful baby in the world. She was so perfect and fat and pink. Well needless to say I haven't ever had to take her to a Dr. she is super healthy, and fat, and still perfect.
The question is why is she so healthy, I have a few ideas.... First, maybe its because her cord wasn't clamped and cut immediately after birth.... did you know that doing that traps a full 30% to 50% of the baby's blood volume in the placenta. You might ask yourself "Self, why would Dr's who are supposed to do no harm rob the tinyist little life of so much of his or her very vital blood?" I can tell you, part of it is just being total impatient A -holes... wanting to hurry and get outta that room and on to other things, hence the shot of Pitocin that they always give now to "help" the placenta come faster, God forbid they let nature take it's course and wait for the cord to stop pulsing then cut it. And perhaps if all women were allowed to let their placentas detach and come out on their own (no tugging, yanking, or pulling required) then we would not have the high instance of PP hemorrhage.
Then there is the selling of our placentas that is happening all over this country. The hospitals are selling our placentas to Pharmaceutical and Cosmetic companies.. Why you might ask? Cord blood is a huge deal now, and the Hospitals get a huge payday for that, but do you think that we get a credit on our bill since it is our "Medical Waste" they are selling to make face cream (bet you didn't know that lots of our anti-aging smudge we slather all over our faces and bodies has human placentas in them), and all sorts of things that I don't even want to get into here.
Second, she has never been poked by a needle, not for a Vitamin K shot, or any other "Immunization" they kill more babies then they help by the way. I did not cut her heel to test her for a Metabolic Disorder that only strikes like less then 1% of babies, and usually there is a family connection (heredity) nor did I take her in when she got Jaundice, as something like over 90% of newborns have Jaundice... And being an intelligent person that knows how to read I was able to do research on Jaundice and found that there are 3 kinds, and that Abbie had the most common and most easily treatable kind. Treated with lots of boob juice and some sunlight.
I took Alisha (my oldest) in twice a day for the first week Post-Pard for "heal sticks" because of her jaundice. They never did or gave her anything for it, but her heels looked like pin cushions.
There are many other reasons I feel contribute the Abigail's over all health and well being, I co-sleep, she has spent every night of her life within arms reach of me. I wear her in a sling (more when she was small) around the house and out in public at the store. She has never been that screaming baby in Walmart getting her car seat shaken, while being shushed by an antsy mom who just wants to run outta there leaving her cart full of stuff behind.
I have never fed her on the schedule that was put out by God knows who saying that babies need cereal at 4 months and food at 6 months.... bla bla bla. She has only been interested in nursing from the start, and she is just now at 10 months starting to want to try other foods. And the funny thing is, if you nurse your baby exclusively that is all the food they need until they are a year old. That little tidbit is not given by the mainstream media, maybe because they are funded by the Formula companies, I wont even get into what poise that crap is right now.
So here we are at 10 months, and Abbie weighs 22 pounds, she is crawling and cruising, she is saying mama, dada, baba, and like 4 or 5 other baby words. She eats great, she sleeps soundly, she only poops once a week (which really freaked me out at first, but there doesn't seem to be a problem). She loves her siblings and enjoys 'petting' hahaha the kitties.
I am writing this so that I can remind myself that listening to my gut and my mothers intuition will always be a better idea then listening to the mainstream media, Dr's who always have a agenda and who are also pressured by the Pharm Companies. Now I am not saying that there isn't a place for Dr's and hospitals, because there definitely is, I'm saying that they should be more of a last resort, God gave us all the ability to take care of our offspring, just like the animals, I have yet to see a chimp take her baby to another chimp to fix it, she takes care of her baby herself.
Mothers trust your intuition.... you'll thank me later!!!
The question is why is she so healthy, I have a few ideas.... First, maybe its because her cord wasn't clamped and cut immediately after birth.... did you know that doing that traps a full 30% to 50% of the baby's blood volume in the placenta. You might ask yourself "Self, why would Dr's who are supposed to do no harm rob the tinyist little life of so much of his or her very vital blood?" I can tell you, part of it is just being total impatient A -holes... wanting to hurry and get outta that room and on to other things, hence the shot of Pitocin that they always give now to "help" the placenta come faster, God forbid they let nature take it's course and wait for the cord to stop pulsing then cut it. And perhaps if all women were allowed to let their placentas detach and come out on their own (no tugging, yanking, or pulling required) then we would not have the high instance of PP hemorrhage.
Then there is the selling of our placentas that is happening all over this country. The hospitals are selling our placentas to Pharmaceutical and Cosmetic companies.. Why you might ask? Cord blood is a huge deal now, and the Hospitals get a huge payday for that, but do you think that we get a credit on our bill since it is our "Medical Waste" they are selling to make face cream (bet you didn't know that lots of our anti-aging smudge we slather all over our faces and bodies has human placentas in them), and all sorts of things that I don't even want to get into here.
Second, she has never been poked by a needle, not for a Vitamin K shot, or any other "Immunization" they kill more babies then they help by the way. I did not cut her heel to test her for a Metabolic Disorder that only strikes like less then 1% of babies, and usually there is a family connection (heredity) nor did I take her in when she got Jaundice, as something like over 90% of newborns have Jaundice... And being an intelligent person that knows how to read I was able to do research on Jaundice and found that there are 3 kinds, and that Abbie had the most common and most easily treatable kind. Treated with lots of boob juice and some sunlight.
I took Alisha (my oldest) in twice a day for the first week Post-Pard for "heal sticks" because of her jaundice. They never did or gave her anything for it, but her heels looked like pin cushions.
There are many other reasons I feel contribute the Abigail's over all health and well being, I co-sleep, she has spent every night of her life within arms reach of me. I wear her in a sling (more when she was small) around the house and out in public at the store. She has never been that screaming baby in Walmart getting her car seat shaken, while being shushed by an antsy mom who just wants to run outta there leaving her cart full of stuff behind.
I have never fed her on the schedule that was put out by God knows who saying that babies need cereal at 4 months and food at 6 months.... bla bla bla. She has only been interested in nursing from the start, and she is just now at 10 months starting to want to try other foods. And the funny thing is, if you nurse your baby exclusively that is all the food they need until they are a year old. That little tidbit is not given by the mainstream media, maybe because they are funded by the Formula companies, I wont even get into what poise that crap is right now.
So here we are at 10 months, and Abbie weighs 22 pounds, she is crawling and cruising, she is saying mama, dada, baba, and like 4 or 5 other baby words. She eats great, she sleeps soundly, she only poops once a week (which really freaked me out at first, but there doesn't seem to be a problem). She loves her siblings and enjoys 'petting' hahaha the kitties.
I am writing this so that I can remind myself that listening to my gut and my mothers intuition will always be a better idea then listening to the mainstream media, Dr's who always have a agenda and who are also pressured by the Pharm Companies. Now I am not saying that there isn't a place for Dr's and hospitals, because there definitely is, I'm saying that they should be more of a last resort, God gave us all the ability to take care of our offspring, just like the animals, I have yet to see a chimp take her baby to another chimp to fix it, she takes care of her baby herself.
Mothers trust your intuition.... you'll thank me later!!!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
For a time and a season.
I had a week of revelation in my life. I traveled up to Northern Idaho to spend Passover with some friends of ours. It was amazing to do a truly biblical passover, we roasted a goat whole, put the blood on the door posts the whole nine yards! Not at all like the Passover Seders I have attended in the past, no long boring rabbinical bleh, we ate with our coats on and our staffs in hand (sure some of us had ski poles in hand, LOL) but we did our very best to follow Yahweh's instructions in the Torah, and I feel so wonderful about it.
Now I am left with a wondering about how I allowed myself to get so entrenched in the Rabbinical Customs in the first place, lets see, first it is what most of us do when we learn about and try to follow Torah and the Hebrew roots of our faith I like to call it jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.. Most of us do it when we are trying to learn about Torah and have been raised indoctrinated and clinging to an inaccurate ideal of "Jesus" and the teaching that we were all taught growing up that the 'Law' is done away with.
First Jesus' actual name was Y'shua (or Yeshua or Yahshua the spelling varies in English as it is a Hebrew name), he was a Jew, and he followed Torah to the letter, he was perfect, sinless.... and Kosher ;) He would never have taught against Torah, because it says very clearly in the Bible that if he sinned then he was not the Messiah, and teaching people to go against God's instruction was the greatest sin. BTW Torah means instruction and is translated as Law.
The confusion comes in around 379 a.d. When the Roman Emperor Constantine decided to merge his pagan worship with Messianic Belief. He was sick and tired of all fighting that was taking place between the 2 factions, like what day is the Sabbath? Pagans say Sunday (the venerable day of the sun).. and the early Believers worshiped the actual Shabbat which has always been on Saturday, ever since Yahweh created the heavens and the earth.
It is important to remember that Constantine was an extreme anti-Semite, and when he merged the 2 religions he wanted all things 'Jewish' outta there. The only problem is that the things Constantine go rid of were not Jewish things, they were His things, God's. Like his feasts and festivals, his Sabbath, and many other things that were deemed Jewish, since Yahweh was always the God of the Hebrews (Jews), until Y'shua, He made it possible for the Torah of Yahweh to be brought to the Gentiles and the bible says that if we believe in Him then we are grafted into Israel, adopted. And the Bible makes it clear the adopted children have the same rights if not more then the original offspring.
So, I feel no need to call myself Jew or Hebrew, even though I live as Torah says and follow Yahweh and Y'shua, I am Israel not a Jew, so I call myself Messianic and I am a true believer. My eyes were opened the day that I shed all the pagan customs and holidays, did the research and decided to go with God. I pray that all who have faith in the One true God will do the same research and find the Hebrew roots of your faith... I feel Him daily and I know He is in control....
May Yahweh bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you and give you Shalom!
Now I am left with a wondering about how I allowed myself to get so entrenched in the Rabbinical Customs in the first place, lets see, first it is what most of us do when we learn about and try to follow Torah and the Hebrew roots of our faith I like to call it jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.. Most of us do it when we are trying to learn about Torah and have been raised indoctrinated and clinging to an inaccurate ideal of "Jesus" and the teaching that we were all taught growing up that the 'Law' is done away with.
First Jesus' actual name was Y'shua (or Yeshua or Yahshua the spelling varies in English as it is a Hebrew name), he was a Jew, and he followed Torah to the letter, he was perfect, sinless.... and Kosher ;) He would never have taught against Torah, because it says very clearly in the Bible that if he sinned then he was not the Messiah, and teaching people to go against God's instruction was the greatest sin. BTW Torah means instruction and is translated as Law.
The confusion comes in around 379 a.d. When the Roman Emperor Constantine decided to merge his pagan worship with Messianic Belief. He was sick and tired of all fighting that was taking place between the 2 factions, like what day is the Sabbath? Pagans say Sunday (the venerable day of the sun).. and the early Believers worshiped the actual Shabbat which has always been on Saturday, ever since Yahweh created the heavens and the earth.
It is important to remember that Constantine was an extreme anti-Semite, and when he merged the 2 religions he wanted all things 'Jewish' outta there. The only problem is that the things Constantine go rid of were not Jewish things, they were His things, God's. Like his feasts and festivals, his Sabbath, and many other things that were deemed Jewish, since Yahweh was always the God of the Hebrews (Jews), until Y'shua, He made it possible for the Torah of Yahweh to be brought to the Gentiles and the bible says that if we believe in Him then we are grafted into Israel, adopted. And the Bible makes it clear the adopted children have the same rights if not more then the original offspring.
So, I feel no need to call myself Jew or Hebrew, even though I live as Torah says and follow Yahweh and Y'shua, I am Israel not a Jew, so I call myself Messianic and I am a true believer. My eyes were opened the day that I shed all the pagan customs and holidays, did the research and decided to go with God. I pray that all who have faith in the One true God will do the same research and find the Hebrew roots of your faith... I feel Him daily and I know He is in control....
May Yahweh bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you and give you Shalom!
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