I found a few minutes this afternoon sitting in my rocking chair humming a teething baby to sleep, to watch Judge Judy. And I was hit with this massive nausea over the state of relationships now a days. We have people suing people over bills and furniture , cell phone bills, slander and a host of other petty issues caused by men and women moving in together with out the benefit of marriage. Or roommates who cant stand each other and leave the other one hanging with the rent and bills and so forth.
For as much as we all think we have grown and changed, with our modern world, living alone or with strangers, dating many many people, not 'settling', and playing the field. I believe we are way worse off then ever before. What is it that we were running from in the first place. Was it the security and stability of life long marriage? Was it the health and safety of a monogamist relationship? Was it the love and structure that living at home with your family until marriage afforded? The most important question is are we crazy? What in the world is wrong with us?
You see I have a few friends and family members who are currently dealing with some of these issues, having lived with someone who was not their spouse and now living in a tiny apartment struggling to make the ends meet, after being practically robbed by the 'significant other' when it all went to hell in a hand basket. What was the point? Are they going to end up on Judge Judy fighting it our over $100 dollars and a game system.
"He has a bag of my clothes!" She whines,
"Well she ruined my computer!" He snarled, to elicit a snort and an eye roll form Judge Judy.
God forbid.
I would like to call out to everyone to go back in time, back to when people got married for the rest of their lives, had kids and raised them with morals and values. Made sure that they had a strong foundation based on religious principals, a biblical beginning if you will. Like teaching our children that lying is a sin, and that your virginity is special and something that should not be given lightly. What would our world look like if our children were taught what a good work ethic looked like, and understood that consequences follow actions, either good or bad. Children that have had discipline (OMG yes I am talking about spanking) and respect their elders, and love their neighbor........
Look at the people we want to emulate in the press. We gobble up magazines full of slutty looking women who jump from man to man and have children with many different people. Or the men who trade their wives in for a younger model. If we didn't buy these rags (or watch the television shows) then maybe they would put people on the cover who had some values and morals that our children could really look up too.
What influence are we being on our kids? How do we dress, how long do we keep a job? What kind of books and magazines do we read, what kind of programs do we watch on the TV and at the theater? These are all questions we need to be asking ourselves. One that I have struggled with is the music I listen to. My husband has a weakness for rock music, and honestly some of the lyrics are completely inappropriate, even some of the country music I listen too is not suitable for children to listen to, and I have in the past excused it by saying, "They aren't even listening, they're busy playing." Yeah right, only later to have them humming the beat and singing the lyrics. Oops
Shouldn't our kids be our first priority? Why are we ok with strangers raising our children? Now I understand that some mothers due to divorce and or death of a spouse have no choice but to get a job to take care of their children. But what kind of family's do we have that we will turn the raising of our children over to a daycare and public school, for what I ask? So that we can have better cars, or a bigger house, God forbid we don't get to take a vacation every year. What happened to the dad's who found a second job if needed to make ends meet. I stay home and take care of my children, I take full responsibility for their care, discipline, and education. And let me tell you it can be the hardest job there is. My husband on the other hand works and makes sure that we have enough money to pay the bills. Sometimes it is really hard and at other times it is easier. And when we need it he has gone and gotten a second job, because having his children raised by their mother is his #1 priority. He works in manual labor and does not have any kind college degree to 'fall back on', but we make it and I know that there are more family's that could make it if they only gave it a try.
We are responsible for them, and when they grow up, are we going to be proud of the job we've done? I hope that I will do a good job and that I will raise a bunch of awesome, respectful, healthy kids. When did being a mother become something that was less than having a career. And if a career is something that you want maybe waiting until the children are grown might be a good idea.
Isn't raising our children and parenting supposed to be the most important job there is.
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